Whether you adamantly celebrate Singles Awareness Day or avoid all human contact every February 14 in order to avoid happy couples flaunting their love, being single on Valentine’s Day is always a pain. Most people say that it’s literally the worst thing ever. However, I found out the hard way after spending six hours on the night of Valentine’s Day in the ER with a bunch of screaming children that simply being single isn’t the worst way to spend a Valentine’s Day.
The anecdotes were compiled anonymously through a survey.
When you find out you ain’t the one
“The dude I was seeing at the time posted on social media that he was ‘so in love’ with this girl but [he] wasn’t specifically saying who. I was sitting there all happy and bashful because it was clearly about me. Then he posts that it was in fact about a friend of mine. :D”
When “you are not the father” isn’t a reason to celebrate
“I was deployed during Valentine’s Day, and when I came back…my wife was pregnant. Turns out the estimated conception date was Feb. 14. Needless to say, we aren’t married anymore.”
When your date tries to cut a bitch
“The guy I was on a second date with almost came to blows with the restaurant host because they couldn’t find our reservation and couldn’t seat us. After blowing up on the poor guy, my date left in a huff and when I caught up with him, he suggested to just skip dinner and go straight to his place to fool around. Noooope. I just went back to the restaurant to apologize to the host and wait for an Uber to take me home.”
When you just make all the wrong decisions
“Hooked up with my friend’s ex and sent him a nude, and then he ghosted me.”
When family drama gets in the way of romance
“Having my date with the new (at the time, now thankfully, the ex) boyfriend cancelled so he could go to his parents’ house 20 minutes away to deal with family drama after his psychotic sister-in-law announced that she was pregnant, yet again, and didn’t really want to be. She needed money to go elsewhere to get it ‘taken care of’ because she was far enough along where the local facility would do it and insurance wouldn’t cover it. Should have sent me running from that asylum where the inmates were definitely running the show right then and there. Took a bit longer to realize how insane they all really were :p”
When Mean Girls takes over Valentine’s Day
“The one time I got a Valentine’s Day card at school. You could put them in the school postbox and they were delivered during registration before the first lesson that day. I got one but the girl was just being mean. I was so happy for an hour or two until I found out it was a joke.”
When the wrong person finds out you’re a lady in the streets but a freak in the…
“I got the Valentine cards mixed up and my guy got the one I was giving to my Mom saying ‘For a wonderful and loving Mother on Valentine’s Day’ and she got the one that said ‘Turn up the body heat.’ Both cards were the same size and had red envelopes.”
When life gives you a stalker
“A couple of years ago, right before Valentine’s Day, I got flowers delivered to me. I was dating a guy at the time so I didn’t look at the card. I just assumed they were from him. He came over the next day and I thanked him for the flowers. He was confused and was just kinda like ‘I didn’t send you flowers…’ [So I] found the card, [and it turns out the flowers] were from a guy that I ‘dated’(hung out with a lot) for like two months…two years prior. He sent them to me from California (I’m in New York). We hadn’t been in contact for a year or more.”
When you’re Un-Valentined
“My first girlfriend dumped me. I spent a whole afternoon with her, and the whole time she was acting funny. I even bought her a CD (yeah, it was a long time ago). Then, when I dropped her off, she blurted ‘I think we should just be friends’ when I was in the middle of talking to her. I knew it wasn’t working, but I wish she’d have done it at the beginning of the afternoon and saved me some time/money.”
When being forever alone goes beyond just being single
“Last year, I only spoke to one guy on Valentine’s Day, and he was the librarian telling me the library was closing.”
While Valentine’s Day is tough, before you spend all of Valentine’s chugging wine by yourself or furiously swiping through Tinder to find your temporary Valentine, just remember there are worse things in life than being single on Valentine’s regardless of your relationship status. Stay strong, Shufflers!