Disney’s “Hocus Pocus” is getting a remake

Despite Disney’s difficulty finding a virgin, the Disney Channel classic and fall favorite will not be getting its much sought after sequel, but a TV REMAKE!! I haven’t been this offended since they played Beyonce’s  Lemonade at an Ariana Grande concert.

When I hear “TV remake,” I immediately equate it to the quality of a straight-to-DVD film. If it’s not good enough to make box office profits, it’s not going to be great, and “Hocus Pocus” was PHENOMENAL and should only be reproduced as such (if at all). It seems that Disney has once again chosen money over quality, by deciding to make more of “Hocus Pocus simply because of its popularity. This is clearer than ever now that further details have been revealed about the slated remake.

So far it has been reported that none of the original characters (other than the Sanderson sisters) or original cast members will be making an appearance, despite their previously stated interest in getting together again in the spirit of the black flame candle. So far it looks like only producer David Kirschner is on board for the remake, this time as an executive producer.

The remake has been described as “Hocus Pocus for a new generation” (if this remake features a selfie I will scream). Among those not being brought on for the remake, is original director Kenny Ortega. Ortega is known for producing successful Disney Channel original musicals such as “High School Musical” and the more recent, “Descendants.” The script will be written by E!’s “The Royals” writer Scarlett Lacey.

“Hocus Pocus” getting a TV remake is the equivalent of the time they decided to invent sugar-free cookies. It’s taking something that everyone loves (My sibling is a Girl Scout, so believe me when I say EVERYONE LOVES COOKIES), removing the one thing that makes it good, and is turning it into a blasphemic (and let’s face it, not what it seems) version of itself. You can’t throw a leotard on a pug and tell me it’s Beyonce. Much in that sense, you can’t throw a curly red wig on hyper mature tween and equate her to the original stylings and talent of Bette Midler.

Unless the new Sanderson Sisters are Destiny’s Child, I don’t see how Disney Channel will get a heavy-hitter cast large enough for me to tune in. Which is unlikely given that alas, I am not their target demographic. Lightning doesn’t strike twice, and it appears Disney is playing with fire trying to replicate a classic with a remake.

About Marisa

Marisa is an Austin native — follow her on Instagram and Twitter to see all of her Capital City adventures. You can also check out more of her writing here.

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