First Watch Game of Thrones TV Uncategorized

FIRST WATCH: “Game of Thrones” Season 1, Episode 4 “Cripples, Bastards and Broken Things” Review

Quick and Dirty Plot:

Jon Snow (Kit Harington) is still hanging out at the Wall. A new recruit comes in. Samwell, aka Sam (John Bradley), quickly becomes the weakest link. Sam can’t fight and tends to just yield instead of getting the crap kicked out of him. Jon Snow is not about that life and sticks up for Sam rather than let him be humiliated. Jon learns that Sam had two options: join the Night’s Watch or die in a hunting “accident.” Jon feels bad for him. Better being a bastard then, huh?

Meanwhile, Ned (Sean Bean) decides to become Sherlock Holmes and look into Jon Arryn’s (John Standing) murder. While doing some detective work, Ned locates one of King Robert’s (Mark Addy) illegitimate children and is all “Oh snap!” Sansa (Sophie Turner) still won’t speak to Ned after he killed her direwolf. But, she is spending her time in King’s Landing preparing to be Queen. Get it, Sansa! Arya (Maisie Williams) is still taking her sword fighting lessons and plans to be a knight. 

Photo credit: HBO

On the other side of the map from the opening credits, Daenerys (Emilia Clarke) is starting to take some agency in her life. Her creepy brother (Harry Lloyd) is still HELLA rude. In a fight, he hits her, but this time, she fights back. Which, girl, why didn’t you do that before? Jason Momoa is your husband. You’d be fine. Jorah (Iain Glen) hears about this and starts to stoke the fire (pun unintended) for Daenerys to truly rule.

Back in Winterfell, Tyrion (Peter Dinklage) is sad that Bran (Isaac Hempstead Wright) is crippled, so he makes a fancy saddle so Bran can ride a horse again. Before Tyrion can get back to King’s Landing, he sees Catelyn (Michelle Fairley) in a pub and she decides to citizen’s arrest him. In a pub. 

Photo credit: HBO


Who is Hodor? He just appears like I should know who he is, but who the heck is he? I think this is my gripe so far with the show. It acts like we’ve all read the books or should just miraculously know what is going on. I don’t and it’s kind of frustrating. Did anyone else experience this while watching “Game of Thrones”. Or I am just very stupid?

I am starting to like Ned Stark more. Before, I just didn’t get his character. But now that he is all “Law & Order: Criminal Intent,” I am here for it. As for Arya: Okay, I know that she gets better — at least I hope that she gets better — but GEEZ. I am all for female empowerment and women doing their thing, but she is such a brat. I just need her to take a chill pill for an episode. Meanwhile, Sansa is preparing to be Queen. I see her. I see her vision. I am here for it. I am just sad that her suitor is Joffrey. 

Photo credit: HBO

I am interested to see where this season leads Daenerys. I really like Jorah. He seems wise but also just genuinely cares for Daenerys. That is really nice because it does not seem like she’s had a positive male influence in her life. I mean, have you seen her brother?! Speaking of brothers, not a lot of Cersei and Jaime action. I was able to eat and watch this episode.

That is BANANAS that Catelyn just snatched up Lord Tyrion, in the daytime, in a pub! That is really bold and really reckless. It just seems like she is getting pretty careless. At least I know where Arya gets it. I will be interested to see what happens. I just, it’s so dumb! Who just citizen’s arrests a Lannister?!

Then there’s Jon Snow. This poor, poor boy. Does he ever figure out that the world is much bigger than him? I do like the fact that he is being established as a moral person. He clearly has convictions that he sticks to. I will be interested to see his friendship with Sam. They’re cute together. Do they ever become an item? I figure not, but one can hope. Though, can we talk about that crazy Night’s Watch trainer, leader, person, man? (Did not mean to turn this into a cognitive test…) He was all like, “Eating the horse was easy. It became hard eating me friends.” Like real Donner Party vibes from that dude. Hope Jon doesn’t have to venture beyond the Wall with him.

I am starting to become a little more invested in some of these characters. I have even learned their names rather than calling them “That One Dude from ‘Skins’” or “Lily Allen’s Brother.” Though, I will say, I’m not hooked. I’m not dying to see the next episode. I will! And I hope you join me.

Photo credit: HBO

Out-of-Context Quotes:

  • This poor Samwell bloke.
  • I hate Sam’s beard.
  • The face I am making during this bathtub scene.
  • Sansa is MOO-DY.
  • Ned’s job is boring.
  • Why is Jaime mad that the King has a mistress? More time to have sex with his own TWIN SISTER.
  • Littlefinger is a gossipy little bitch.
  • “I’d rather throw myself down a well.” I’m going to use that.

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Photo Credit: HBO

Featured image credit: HBO

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