Quick and Dirty Plot:
Ned (Sean Bean) is reinstated as the Hand of the King. Robert (Mark Addy) wants no more of his shenanigans. Robert decides to go hunting with his friends. Alcohol. Weapons. What could go wrong?
Back in Winterfell, Theon Greyjoy (Alfie Allen) wants Robb (Richard Madden) to go after the Lannisters after what Jaime (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) did to Ned. Robb refuses. Meanwhile, Bran (Isaac Hempstead Wright) gets to ride a horse but is cornered by some randos in the forest. All of the men are killed, but a woman (Natalia Tena) is spared and made a slave.
Arya (Maisie Williams) continues her sword fighting lessons with the darkest sword fighting instructor. Sansa (Sophie Turner) is still mad at Arya. I don’t blame her. I will never forgive Arya for getting Sansa’s direwolf killed. Sansa is still trying to win over Joffrey (Jack Gleeson). Joffrey is starting to soften up, which isn’t much, because he is insane.
Catelyn (Michelle Fairley) still has Tyrion (Peter Dinklage) captive. Tyrion asks for a trial, which is granted. He then asks for a trial by combat. While a knight fights on behalf of the place they’re at — there are so many names, forgive me — Tyrion gets some help from Bronn (Jerome Flynn). During the trial by combat, Bronn wears his opponent out before killing him. Tyrion leaves a free man. Catelyn is pretty devastated.
Daenerys (Emilia Clarke) is starting to assimilate to the Dothraki way of life. There is a scene where she eats a horse heart and it tells her that she is expecting a boy. Most people use ultrasounds, but do what you gotta do. Meanwhile, her pain in the ass brother, Viserys (Harry Lloyd), is getting really pissed that the Dothraki like her. He attempts to sabotage her. Jorah (Iain Glen) tries to de-escalate the situation, but Viserys doesn’t want to reason with anyone. During a celebration, Viserys comes in drunk and acts a fool. He even threatens Daenerys, which Khal Drogo (Jason Momoa) is not into. Drogo gives Viserys the golden crown he deserves and pours hot metal over his head, killing him. Guess he wasn’t a dragon afterall.
While the King is away, Ned is forced to make some big decisions on his behalf – one of which is literally charging the Lannister patriarch with treason after it was discovered that the Lannisters had the Mountain (Conan Stevens) pillage a place. Knowing that he is setting something serious into motion, Ned tells Arya and Sansa that they are heading back to Winterfell. A distraught Sansa tries to persuade her father into allowing her to stay, as she is destined to have beautiful blonde babies with Joffrey. As the girls go to prepare their things, Ned looks through this big book of ancestry and learns that the Baratheon line produces only dark-haired people, while the Lannisters have luscious blonde hair. Then Ned learns what Jon Arryn had stumbled upon: the twincest. BARF! Why must “Game of Thrones” always come back to the twincest?
Okay, things are getting more interesting, and I am really about this show now. Am I still confused? Yes. Is it hard to tell white people apart? Definitely.
I figured that Joffrey was a product of the twincest. I called it. I’m not happy that I am right, but the Lannisters are all blonde. Come on and tell me that Robert doesn’t know what’s up. This also adds an interesting dynamic because Ned knows the thing! He knows what Cersei (Lena Headey) is up to. He knows about her and Jaime. Will he connect it to Bran? I have anxiety for Ned. I figure this plays a part into his downfall. You cannot know about twincest and leave unscathed. His son is literally paralyzed because of it.
It is also interesting seeing Robb on his own in Winterfell. How will he lead when it is required of him? I know that Ned’s days are numbered. I know the thing! But, Robb has a lot of apprehensions. I am at least glad he’s not “trigger-happy.” However, Jaime Lannister straight-up stabbed his dad in broad daylight. I guess he can’t retaliate because his dum-dum mother kidnapped Tyrion. Speaking of which, I am glad Tyrion won his trial by combat. Catelyn jumped to some conclusions based on intel from Littlefinger, who is a shady bitch. I had no idea where Bronn was going during the fight, and then when he started to have the upper hand, I figured it out. See? I can pick up on things. I am just wondering what will become of Tyrion after this.
Is there going to be more Sansa soon? I need more Sansa. She is betrothed to Joffrey. And at some point, I know he becomes king. I just want to get to know her more other than being moody, lovesick, or power-minded. There has to be a little bit more to that. Show me more!
While this episode had minimal Sansa, it did have lots of Daenerys and lots of Jorah. I love Jorah. I want a dude like Jorah in my life. He is loyal and kind and believes in you. He will threaten your awful brother. He will show up to your weird horse-heart-eating parties. Jorah is the best! Daenerys is starting to become the future queen she was destined to be. Viserys coming in, trying to ruin the day, was just infuriating. I knew he was killed. I did not know when. But then, there it was: a gift for me. A most deserving death. I cheered. You would’ve thought the Dodgers won the World Series with my excitement. Goodbye Viserys. I will not miss you.
It is bananas to think this was Emilia Clarke’s first-ever starring role. Her first big job and she is having to be this kind of quiet young woman, sold to a dude who became her husband, assimilated to his culture, and then becomes a boss queen in six whole episodes. I mean, the grotesque amounts of nudity aside, there were other gigantic scenes she had to do. That whole eating a horse heart thing was bonkers! Could you imagine doing that for 16 hours a day, several days in a row? I have only seen Clarke in her other work. I love a rom-com. But seeing her on the show has been really eye-opening to her depth as an actress. I mean, she did make me cry into pretzel bites during a Christmas romantic comedy based off of a Wham! song. Yet, now, I am seeing her in more dramatic work. I cannot wait to see her performance evolve as she is given more stuff to do — and more clothes to wear.
Viserys Targaryen — cue “ Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye” by Steam
Viserys, from day one, I hated you. You were creepy. You were a jerk. You were hella selfish. I cannot think of a more fitting end for you than molten hot golden being poured down your face and neck. Harry Lloyd, you did a great job playing a horrible person. I liked you in “The Theory of Everything.”
- Daenerys is just hanging out with some dragon eggs?
- Bran gets to ride a horse. How fun for him.
- What is Nymphadora Tonks doing?
- “There is only one God and his name is Death.” Okay, existential sword fighting teacher.
- Daenerys eating a horse heart. Icky. Khal Drogo is into this.
- Tyrion confessing like Chunk in “The Goonies.”
- He wants a trial by combat? Ballsy.
- Littlefinger sure stirs shit up.
- Sansa is being rude to her nanny lady.
- “I’ll never be cruel to you again.” You sit on a throne of lies!
- Ned is finding out about the twincest. Yuck.
- “Fire cannot kill a dragon.” FACTS. Daenerys is the true Targaryen!
“Game of Thrones” is available to watch on HBO and HBO Max.
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Featured image credit: HBO
Morgan Roberts (she/her) was by films and television. She spent many nights watching “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” or whatever the family rented from Blockbluster. Morgan is particularly interested in cinematography, supporting female filmmakers and “Fleabag.” Outside of a deep love of film, Morgan is passionate about mental health advocacy, gender equality and true crime podcasts. Morgan also contributes to In Their Own League.