Quick and Dirty Plot:
It’s finally here! The siege on King’s Landing! Tyrion (Peter Dinklage) is ready to lead the Lannister army to war against Stannis (Stephan Dillane). Stannis thinks he has it in the bag. He’s all, “I have boats and a big ol’ army! Fight me now!” So Stannis and his army assemble in Blackwater Bay. Davos (Liam Cunningham), Stannis and crew are met by a single, unmanned ship. They’re like, “What the heck is that?” Then BOOM! A big old “wildfire” explosion. Half of the fleet does down in flames. Tyrion, who’s been planning this forever, is like, “Thank God that worked, or we would’ve been screwed.”
The Lannister army must now prepare for the remaining men of Stannis’s army to come ashore to King’s Landing itself. Meanwhile, Cersei (Lena Headey) is hiding within the fortress while the battle commences. Before the battle began, Cersei was given poison in case Stannis starts to win, so she and her kids can Romeo themselves off. (That’s right, I made a Shakespeare reference.) Cersei is having a hard time and Sansa (Sophie Turner) is forced to listen to Cersei’s drunk ramblings.
As the battle ensues, the Hound (Rory McCann) is faced with his childhood fear of fire and says, “Deuces.” The battle wages on. and Tyrion leads the troops through a tunnel to surround Stannis’s army. Cersei orders someone to bring Joffrey (Jack Gleeson) to her and that scaredy cat runs to mommy. During the battle, Tyrion is slashed in the face by one of Joffrey’s men when Tyrion’s squire, Podrick (Daneil Portman) stabs and kills the man.
Meanwhile, Cersei is still drunk and saying weird shit, which leads Sansa to rally the women. Shae (Sibel Kekilli) convinces Sansa to run back to her quarters. There, Sansa is met by the Hound, who offers to bring her North. Her answer remains unknown.
After Tyrion is injured, Tywin (Charles Dance) arrives with Loras (Finn Jones) and saves the day. Cersei is unaware that they are winning and is getting ready to poison her children when Tywin waltzes in all, “Ah yeah. We won. What’s going on here? Are we all good?” And then the episode ends.
So, this episode was a bit jarring because it is centered on literally one event. Which, I get, would be way too much to do amidst a normal episode. But I was waiting for Daenerys or Ygritte and Jon or even Robb, but no, it was focused on all of this.
First of all, Tyrion is too good for his damn family. He was a genius, using the “wildfire” to decimate Stannis’ army which was dope AF. Then he surrounds Stannis’ army. Tyrion was killing it. Then his punk of a nephew tries to have him killed — rude — and then his awful father comes and “saves” the day after all of his hard work.
Secondly, Cersei is CRAZY. I don’t like using that word, but this is a fictional character and there appear to be no therapists in Westeros, so that’s the best word to describe her. Cersei was causing a panic. She was more drunk than a bridesmaid at the bachelorette party. We all know that I am not a Cersei fan. I mean, Lena Headey is great, but Cersei is just bonkers to an uncomfortable level. Like, girl, what are you doing? It was just really uncomfortable watching her spiral. It kind of felt unnecessary. The woman has sex with her own twin brother; we know she’s not mentally stable. Why do we keep reducing her every few episodes? I just don’t get that.
Then, we have poor Sansa. Yet again, she has the option to leave, but will she? Probably not. She has had the taste of the highlife in King’s Landing. She’s not going to leave to go back with her family. She has had many opportunities to leave. And she still thinks she’s going to marry Joffrey. It’s not advantageous for him to marry her, so why does she hang around? Ugh. I’m so annoyed by how much she thinks she’s going to be queen. Ain’t no way that’s going to happen.
Lastly, now that Loras has teamed with the Lannisters, what does this mean for Robb? It seems like everyone is teaming up with the Lannisters. And why? They are the worst! They suck. They betray everyone. They are only it in for themselves. I just, I am so mad. I’m mad! I’m mad. Why does this stupid show keep doing this? And why do I keep watching? We only have one episode left this season. There are a lot of questions that still need to be answered. Those, I am looking forward to getting.
- I can’t see shit.
- What is Cersei planning with this wizard?
- Joffrey loves the carnage.
- Poor Sansa. What an awful time she’s having.
- I still can’t see shit.
- Tyrion should be King.
- The Hound isn’t all that bad after all. He has a soft spot for Sansa.
- Cersei is about to poison her kid. Maniac.
“Game of Thrones” is available to watch on HBO and HBO Max.
Feature image credit: HBO
Morgan Roberts (she/her) was by films and television. She spent many nights watching “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” or whatever the family rented from Blockbluster. Morgan is particularly interested in cinematography, supporting female filmmakers and “Fleabag.” Outside of a deep love of film, Morgan is passionate about mental health advocacy, gender equality and true crime podcasts. Morgan also contributes to In Their Own League.