Quick and Dirty Plot:
With Tywin’s (Charles Dance) return to King’s Landing, he is once again made Hand of the King. Tyrion (Peter Dinklage) is all paranoid because someone had just tried to kill him during battle. Now that his protections are gone, he has Bronn (Jerome Flynn) protect him everywhere he goes. Tyrion learns it was Cersei (Lena Headey) behind the plot to kill him. Rude. Shae (Sibel Kekilli) tries to get Tyrion to leave, but he refuses.
Meanwhile, Loras (Finn Jones) asked Joffrey (Jack Gleeson) to marry his sister, Margaery (Natalie Dormer), instead of Sansa (Sophie Turner). Loras also mentions that Mama Cersei approves of the union. Littlefinger (Aiden Gillen) offers to smuggle Sansa home, and she says, “Thanks but no thanks.” Side note: GIRL, what are you doing. Varys (Conleth Hill) plots to undermine Littlefinger.
Stannis (Stephan Dillane) is pissed he lost and tries to kill Melisandre (Carice van Houten), but decides against it since he learns how much she helped take out Renly (Gethin Anthony). Brienne (Gwendoline Christie) continues to escort Jaime (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) back to King’s Landing. Robb (Richard Madden) tells Catelyn (Michelle Fairley) that he loves Talisa (Oona Chaplin) and cannot get arranged-married to a daughter of House Frey — who agreed to provide Robb with men for his army. Catelyn warns Robb, but he marries Talisa anyway.
Up North, Theon (Alfie Allen) declines going to the Night’s Watch after his botched attempt to overthrow Winterfell. Theon tries to rally his troops but is instead betrayed and brought to House Bolton forces. Bran (Isaac Hempstead Wright) finds his former advisor dying. His advisor tells him to head for the Wall, which he plans to do with the youngest Stark kid, Osha (Natalia Tena) and Hodor (Kristin Nairn).
Arya (Maisie Williams) leaves Harrenhal with Gendry (Joe Dempsie) and Hot Pie (Ben Hawkey). They are quickly surprised by Jaquen (Tom Wlaschiha), who offers to train Arya, but she declines, saying she has to get home. Jaquen gives her a coin and a phrase — “Valar morghulis” — to be able to find him. Then Jaquen shape-shifts out of there.
Qhorin (Simon Armstrong) convinces Jon (Kit Harrington) to kill him so he can convince the Wildlings that he has defected. The Wildlings then say they will bring Jon to Mance Rayder (their leader,I guess). The other Night’s Watchmen hear three horn blasts. Sam (John Bradley) is left behind by his companions and becomes surrounded by White Walkers. Straight up zombies, y’all.
In Qarth, Daenerys (Emilia Clarke) has to get her dragons back. She goes into that crazy wizard’s House of the Undying. She encounters some strange visions but finds her dragons chained. The wizard dude then binds her. She orders her dragons to breathe fire which kills him and frees her. (HUZZAH!) Daenerys, pissed, finds Xaro (Nonso Anozie) in bed with one of her maid ladies. She straight up takes them to Xaro’s empty vault, revealing him to be a fraud, and seals them alive. Some Edgar Allen Poe shit right there. She, Jorah (Iain Glen) and her companions loot Xaro’s house to buy a ship.
There may have been too many things happening in this episode. But I will say, I am impressed with how much they were able to accomplish, both in wrapping up and leaving us with the perfect cliffhangers, in the 64 minutes they had.
Let’s get to it. The Lannisters are a hot mess of a family. They are always scheming against each other. Like, what are they doing? Cersei is always trying to ruin Tyrion’s day. And by that, I mean, she literally tried to have him killed. Holidays must be horrible at Harrenhal.
I am so MAD that Sansa did not leave King’s Landing, TWICE. The Hound offered to help her escape, she did not go. Littlefinger said, “Let me bring you to your mom,” and she said, “Don’t worry about it. I’m marrying Joffrey.” I do not understand why she still wants to marry Joffrey. I get that some of it is for survival purposes. But girl, what the what?! Now, we have Margaery being added into the mix. Loras wants Joffrey to marry her instead of Sansa. Honestly, that would be a smart move for Joffrey since Loras basically saved his kingdom and his life. And I can’t hate Margaery. With what we’ve seen, she was cool that her husband loved her brother. She was happy to be his beard and I respect her for that. But this puts poor Sansa into a horrible position and I don’t like that.
Brienne of Tarth being super loyal to Catelyn is cool but she should care less about Jaime. He is the worst. As I said, Lannisters are not good people. I am really worried about where their journey will take them in season three. If anyone harms Brienne, I will be mad. I know she makes it to the last season, but does she have both eyes? All her limbs? I don’t know. As for the Starks, I am getting very bored of them. Robb is stupid. This is going to be bad. He married Talisa, and I mean, she’s pretty, but bro, you have to marry one of those Frey girls. If he goes back on a promise, I feel like that’s bad. This is Westeros — all you have is your word, and Robb went back on his. This is literally the only time I’ve agreed with Catelyn.
Theon is screwed. This is what you get for betraying your adopted family. I wonder what is going to happen to him now that he’s been given to the Boltons. Meanwhile, I am worried for Bran. He is going to be out in the wilderness and completely reliant on others. With the Starks out of Winterfell, what does that mean for the North? Isn’t there supposed to be a Stark in Winterfell? Will Arya return to Winterfell? I know that she, Gendry and Hot Pie left Harrenhal. I also have no idea how or when Jaquen is going to show up again. I am assuming he will look different.
Beyond the Wall, shit is getting real. Jon has killed another Night’s Watchmen. He plans to join up with the Wildlings. Is this completely for the Night’s Watch? Or has he turned a little bit? I think the Wildlings might be some of the most interesting characters. They’ve seen some of the most horrible things beyond the Wall. Also, it’s cold there. You have to be tough to live in the cold like that. Speaking of beyond the Wall and it being rough, there are White Walkers! We know that they, for sure, exist. Sam is surrounded by them. That is how the episode ends, with sweet, wonderful, helpless Sam surrounded by ice zombies. I am guessing we will see more of the White Walkers next season, which I am looking forward to. They have been alluding to it for some time.
My favorite part of the whole episode was Daenerys. The House of the Undying was really trippy. But I am assuming some of it was foreshadowing? I know how the series ends, but I wonder how it is reflected exactly. It was totally awesome when her dragons burned that wizard guy. He was creepy and a thief. Good riddance. I did not quite see the twist of Xaro betraying Daenerys in the manner he did, though I did not trust him. Anyone who talks about how rich they are likely isn’t. Then, she straight up walled him up alive in his own empty vault. Love when Daenerys is vengeful.
For a season finale, this did a great job of wrapping up some loose ends while giving us some teasers for the next season. I liked having some things wrap up, because, obviously, there is so much going on. I hope some of these storylines start to merge because there are too many people to track. Onward to season three!
- Joffrey is too comfortable on the Iron Throne.
- Margaery wants Joffrey. Yuck…
- Gwendoline Christie is really good.
- The Starks are falling apart.
- This witch lady is bonkers.
- Wow. Tyrion’s family sure hates him.
- Whoa, that dude just changed his face!
- Wtf is this place?
- How does Daenerys have a manicure?
- Vengeful Daenerys!
- Damn! Montressor justice!
- White Walkers!
“Game of Thrones” is available to watch on HBO and HBO Max.
Feature image credit: HBO
Morgan Roberts (she/her) was by films and television. She spent many nights watching “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” or whatever the family rented from Blockbluster. Morgan is particularly interested in cinematography, supporting female filmmakers and “Fleabag.” Outside of a deep love of film, Morgan is passionate about mental health advocacy, gender equality and true crime podcasts. Morgan also contributes to In Their Own League.