Just a forewarning that everything from here on out is loaded with *SPOILERS*, so read at your own risk!
Episode 9: “A Farewell” (dir. Tig Fong)
“I mean, I can’t even stand the man, but I’m proud to call him my friend. Please be upstanding for Colin Robinson!”
Despite Guillermo (Harvey Guillén) attempting to deprogram his master’s brainwashing, nothing seems to be working. Nandor (Kayvan Novak), being generally unhappy with how his friends have treated him over the years, makes the difficult decision to enter a Super Slumber. It’s like a hibernation, but instead of resting for a few months, the deep sleep could last hundreds of years, which ensures he’ll never see his friends nor Guillermo ever again. The slumbering vampire will wake up to nothing, feeling weakened and alone. Nevertheless, the house respects Nandor’s wishes.
Everyone gives their heartfelt goodbyes as Nandor prepares for his Super Slumber. It’s mainly Nadja (Natasia Demetriou), who reads a sorrowful letter, and Colin Robinson (Mark Proksch), who feels like Nandor is using this as an excuse to not attend his 100th birthday party later that night. The coffin closes, and Guillermo boards up the room from the outside.
While everyone sulks in the living room, The Guide (Kristen Schaal) comes down the chimney to notify them that a delegation of the Supreme Worldwide Vampiric Council will be arriving soon to check on their progress running the local Council. The issue is that the Supreme Council expects to see Nadja and Nandor working together as co-leaders, and just as he’s gone to sleep.
An extremely tired Nandor relinquishes his seat at the head of the Council, and implores Nadja to use the excuse that she killed him for getting in the way of her duties; back to sleep he goes. Meanwhile, the esteemed guests start arriving. There’s the Contessa Carmilla De Mornay (Khandi Alexander), Dominykas the Dreadful (David Cross), and Donal Logue as himself. It turns out he got so into the role as the henchman for Stephen Dorff’s Deacon Frost in “Blade” that he sought out vampirism himself. I love this show’s commitment to the recurring gag of bringing in actors who have been a part of iconic vampire media.
The dinner goes along smoothly, that is, until Carmilla starts inquiring about Nandor’s absence. Nadja sticks to her plan and tells them he was slain by her hand. After a wave of shock, the Supreme Council gives her a round of applause for such a commanding display of authority. Panic arises when they request to see his body. Guillermo frantically rushes over to wake Nandor up again – much to his annoyance.
Nandor reluctantly agrees to sit still while the Supreme Council inspects his ‘dead’ body. Everybody is amused, that is, until they start to get curious. What about? Well, they insist on seeing Nandor’s supposedly legendary “pee-pee.” The reviews are average at best. I understand that the longer they stay, the funnier the bit is supposed to be, but for myself, it’s another example of a joke that goes on much longer than it should have.
Throughout the night, Laszlo (Matt Berry) has no trouble reminding everyone of Colin Robinson’s birthday, especially with signing his card. After Nadja gives her toast, Laszlo takes over to make a toast for Colin Robinson turning 100 years old. It’s a really beautiful, genuine ode to his friend. The smile on Colin Robinson’s face is the happiest I’ve ever seen him.
While the Supreme Council enjoy their goodies in the other room, Laszlo drops the bombshell that Colin Robinson will be dead by morning. Earlier in the season, when the two of them were scrounging about the Vampiric Council library for the history of energy vampires, Laszlo came across an ancient text which said that they have a life expectancy of 100 years. Knowing that, he kept the grave secret from Colin Robinson – opting to give him the time of his life in the months he had left. It really gives their adventures throughout the season a bit more of an emotional punch.
As Colin Robinson farts his way into death, Guillermo decides to wake up Nandor one more time so that they can all be together when he passes. A super pissed Nandor reluctantly agrees and heads downstairs to find the energy vampire has already passed on. He doesn’t believe he’s actually dead, this is, until he accidentally caves his face in. We’re talking face goo everywhere.
I hope this doesn’t mean what I think it means. If this is indeed the end of Colin Robinson, then now is the time to say how great Mark Proksch was in this role. “Colin’s Promotion” is still one of my favorite episodes of the series. We still have one more episode left, so time will tell if this is the end of our favorite energy vampire, or if they’re just trying to give us a good scare (e.g. “Ash vs. Evil Dead”). See you next week!
You can catch “What We Do in the Shadows” on Thursday nights at 10/9c on FX. And you’ll find weekly recaps right here on Shuffle Online following each episode!
Featured Image: Kayvan Novak in “What We Do in the Shadows” I FX
Matt graduated from Keene State College in 2017 with a Bachelor’s in Critical Film Studies. A few of his favorite films include “2001: A Space Odyssey,” “Army of Darkness,” “Before Sunrise” and “Certain Women.” Having already contributed to Bloody Disgusting, ELF Magazine and The Simple Cinephile, Matt aspires to expand and continue writing with various outlets. If there’s any chance to talk about horror films and/or Twin Peaks, he’ll very much jump at the opportunity.