Dear June,
My friend Gaby and I have been planning a trip to Italy for almost a year now. It has been fun planning it all out. We did a lot of research on the country and picked highlights that neither of us wanted to miss. All this sounds great right? Well it was, until today. Gaby and I met up with our friend Sarah for lunch and she basically invited herself. None of us make an obscene amount of money, but Gaby and I have been saving all year for this. Sarah was originally invited but declined due to lack of funds. How do I tell my friend that she can’t come with us because we are unwilling to change our plans based on her finances?
-Real Opportunity Means Expenses
ROME,
International travel is not something you can typically sign up for on short notice, unless you have the resources to do so. Beyond the sights you have on your itinerary, I’m sure you and Gaby have also planned for airfare, passports, lodging, food and souvenirs. Beyond that, you have probably also planned to have your home, pets and car cared for while you are away. It’s possible that Sarah has not considered all these things.
Call Sarah and let her know you and Gaby would like to go over the trip details with her at a neutral place. Before you meet up with her, find out how much everything is going to be. Once you have everything mapped out, show her everything she will need to take care of ahead of time to be ready to go. If you have to pay to adjust reservations from two people to three people, write that down. If she has pets, give her some quotes on boarding in your area. If she doesn’t have her passport, let her know she will need go get one ASAP as those can take weeks to come in. That will cost about $150 right off the bat. Show her quotes for last minute flights. Ask her if she plans to use her vacation time for the trip or take it in unpaid leave.
You have spent the better part of a year planning your trip. It is not your responsibility to alter your plans. If Sarah invited herself on a whim, your meeting with her will make her realize she may have been impulsive. If she is prepared to go financially, then she must also be willing to accept the itinerary as is.
In the worst case scenario, Sarah is not prepared, insists on going, and asks you to make changes to accommodate her. As gently as you can, tell Sarah she will not be able to come with you and Gaby on this trip but you will be happy to start planning a trip with her when you and Gaby get back.
Have fun and take pictures!
June Spence
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About June
June was born and raised in the south where “bless your heart” is an insult. Self professed serial dater and an expert in all matters of the heart. June also enjoys volunteering, dancing and sewing.